Picture!

A few weeks ago at my company, we took staff photos. Not the lame kind you find next to professional bios in the "About Us" section of a website. This is advertising, after all--we get paid to be creative! So the mandate was for each of us to plan out a photo that we felt best represented who we are. After much whining and dragging of heels, I finally came up with an idea for mine. And thanks to the Photoshop skills of my dear coworker and friend, it came out way cuter than I expected.

I present to you: Jill as Teen Book Nerd.

 

 And no, I don't usually wear my hair like that. :)

Forces of Nature

As most of you have probably read on CNN by now, Japan got completely rocked by an 8.9-magnitude earthquake late last night (our time) and the devastating tsunami that ensued.

Not sure I've ever mentioned on this blog that my sister lives in Tokyo. Well, she does; so when our father called me this morning at 8 am to let me know they had received word she was okay (albeit stranded an hour away from her apartment), let's just say the word "relief" doesn't quite cover what I felt.

Last night I had trouble sleeping because of all the stuff I was stressed about. Work, money, etc. But after this morning, it seems a little ridiculous that I could get so worked up about things that, at the end of the day, aren't that important.

I guess sometimes it takes the earth shifting underneath you, to get your feet planted back on the ground.

Thoughts and prayers to the people of Japan, and anyone else who has loved ones in that region of the world.

Inspiration in Unexpected Places

I'm home sick today. Bronchitis.

So this morning I'm coughing up a lung (among other stuff--gross, I know) and thinking to myself that this must be similar to an exorcism, and BAM!!--new idea for my book.

This hasn't happened in a while. I've been in a bit of a creative rut lately. Maybe it's the day away from the office, maybe it's the hint of spring in the air. Or maybe it's the phlegm.

Either way, it's back on!

Lady GaGa, Florence + The Machine, and Emotional Truth

If you are a fan of Florence + The Machine, you know that her lyrics rival even her earth-shattering voice. Which is why, when I was reading a blurb about her upcoming concert at Central Park Summer Stage, I had to laugh at her oversimplication of the themes in her songs: although much has been read into her lyrics, Florence says it’s usually simple. “Everything is about boys!” she laughs.

But wait a minute, Lady GaGa songs are about boys. She even has one titled "Boys, Boys, Boys." (In case the lyrics weren't obvious enough.)


Well, they both sing about boys. So what makes one art versus...not?

Emotional truth. In short, Flo uses it, GaGa not so much. GaGa is more of a "say exactly what I mean" kind of girl, which is what makes her so enjoyable when you're 2 glasses of champagne into the evening and dancing is more appealing than interpreting metaphors.

But from a writer-worship standpoint, Flo rules. Let's look at an example:

Florence says: A kiss with a fist is better than none
Florence means: Even though this relationship is destructive to me, it's better than not being in the relationship at all


GaGa says: I like you a lot, lot, think you're really hot, hot
GaGa means: I like you a lot, lot, think you're really hot, hot

GaGa just goes ahead and says the simple, literal truth. She thinks the boy is hot and she likes him. No interpretation necessary.

Florence gets to the emotional truth; meaning, instead of coming out and saying the relationship is hurting her, she uses a visceral metaphor of the fist to demonstrate it.

The lesson here? Say what you mean without actually saying it. Now if I can only find a way to artfully apply that to my own writing...

Beginnings

I've been thinking a lot about beginnings lately, mainly because I've recently found myself in a situation in my personal life I didn't ever expect to be in. (On a related note, I apologize for the blog silence--and happy to be back)

The first 5 pages of your manuscript are the most important. They're what the agent/editor is going to read right after your query letter. But beginnings are something that we've all struggled with as writers.

There's nothing quite like writing the opening pages of a new project. (Except maybe finishing it!) The idea is just a seed a first, something that's lodged in your brain. You let it sit there for a while, until sure enough it starts to take root. Now you have to get it down on paper, and the words can't come fast enough. You don't know the meaning of writer's block--you just wrote your first 5 pages in as many minutes. Piece of cake.

Now the real work begins. It's one thing to have a ton of ideas, but now you have to structure them, weave them into a masterpiece. Things can happen during this process. New ideas pop up that may require rewriting entire chapters or adding entirely new story threads. Characters that were intended as supporting cast may insist on taking center stage. There are all kinds of wonderful, unexpected turns that happen during the novel-writing process.

But now you have a problem. Those first few pages that launched this whole project--the beginning you'd scribbled down so fervently months before--just doesn't seem to work anymore. The tone seems off now that you have a different ending, and doesn't the dialogue seem a little stiff now that you've had 200 pages to nail your characters' voices? 

But this was THE beginning. The one that set you on this whole crazy undertaking that is writing a novel. It was love at first "write" and you've read those words over to yourself so many times that you could probably recite it from memory. Why mess with a good thing?

Sometimes we become blind to whether something we wrote actually works, or if we are so used to seeing it on the page month after month that it never occurs to us that there may be a need for improvement. And when there are months of brainstorming, writing, rewriting, and rewriting again between page 1 and page 200, the answer is almost always that there is room for improvement. The question is whether the problems can be fixed with some mere retooling, or if we have to let go completely and start from scratch. That's when we need to take a step back and look at it with a fresh and objective eye.

And hopefully, things will become a little clearer.

NaNoFiMo

I don't know how it happened, but it did.

Since I'm in the middle of a WIP, I fully intended to steer clear of NaNoWriMo (that's National Novel Writing Month, for any non-writers. The goal is to begin and complete a 50,000 word novel within the month of November).

The plan was to finish my 1st draft before November hit so I could work on edits and rewrites all month, polish it up and send it out to agents before they got hit with a slew of NaNoWriMo-created slush.

And yet here we are on the cusp of November, and I'm still only halfway done with my manuscript.

So this November, I'll be participating in NaNoFiMo (National Novel Finishing Month). I'm trying to get my sister to participate for some extra motivation. (She's a fantastic writer but her dedication to it is negligible at best. If only we could combine forces--but that would probably be a disaster. More in a post on that later.) And of course, I'll be posting updates on bloggy to help motivate myself and anybody else out there who could use a kick in the pants.

So, any NaNoWriMo or NaNoFiMo participants out there geared up for the month of November?

7 Reasons Why: What Happens In Vegas...

...kind of reminds me of writing.

Yup, I was in Sin City last week. And like most everything else in my life, I was struck by some of the parallels in my Vegas adventures vs my writing adventures. So, it's time for another 7 Reasons Why!

1. It's a crapshoot.

When gambling, I like to feel like I have some control. Slots can be addictive, mindless fun, but games like blackjack and craps where I actually have to make decisions provide the illusion that I have some say in the matter.

In publishing, there are things you can control, and things you can't. You can practice and improve your craft. Go through rewrites and edits until your eyes bleed. Create the best, most polished manuscript you are capable of. But after that, it comes down to things like timing, luck, and subjective taste (why do I feel like the AA Serenity Prayer would be appropriate here?)

2. There's always that nagging feeling you should quit.

Gambling is like the law of gravity: what goes up must come down. The key is to walk away when you're up and before you go back down. More often than not, that doesn't happen. I enjoy gambling too much to walk away from a table if I've only been there 20 minutes, even if I'm up. So when I feel things starting to downswing before I'm ready, I'm always faced with the difficult decision of walking away or playing on to the bitter end.

I think any writer has wondered at some point if they should just walk away, give up. Cut their losses. It's definitely crossed my mind more than once. But I'm a bitter end kind of gal. That kind of persistence doesn't typically pay off in Vegas. I can only hope it pays off in publishing.

3. There are a lot of impostors.

Walking down the strip one afternoon, I passed a poster for a show called "American Superstars" featuring impersonators of Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga, etc. Why anybody would pay to see the fake version is beyond me, but to each his own I guess.

The other day I was reading a book similar to another in the same genre, and I came across a scene that was eerily close to said book. Close enough that it annoyed me. I don't want to pick up a book by a completely different author and feel like I'm re-reading the same book twice. I do understand that coincidences happen, but judging from some agent blogs out there, there are a lot of wannabes out there in the slush who think they are the next fill in the blank.


4. Moderation is key.


I was in Vegas almost exactly 72 hours--3 full days. From my experience, almost a perfect length. I've done a 5-day Vegas trip before. It's exhausting. Overkill, really.


As you may have noted by my word count in the side bar, I haven't been going full steam with my WIP the past month. That doesn't mean I've lost interest in it, or in writing in general. Just needed some time to recharge. My last manuscript (Charm Bracelet) I wrote in a couple months (too fast). When I was querying that, I started immediately on The Revengeful. I didn't want to go and just write another hurried piece of crap. I'm making an effort to be patient and get it done right this time, even if that means letting it marinate a bit. Even if it killsssss me. :)


5. It ain't glamorous.

Did you guys see The Hangover? Yeah, it would be nice if we could all afford villa suites at Caesars and have hilarious, face-to-face encounters with Mike Tyson (actually, I have zero desire to meet Mike Tyson). But there is a seedy side to Las Vegas, where people are broke and homeless because of their gambling addictions, and men line the sidewalk hawking advertisements for call girls.

Similarly, publishing is not all about six-figure advances and country-wide book signings. Most published authors need a day job to sustain a viable income. And it's not about writing in a lofty ivory tower. I generally prefer on the couch, in my PJs, while my dog vies for attention vs the laptop.

6. We're never satisfied.

Winning money is addictive (duh). When I'm playing, I try to set myself a limit, eg, "If I'm up X amount of dollars, I will walk away then." And then I hit X, and I make a new deal with myself...just one more hand...

I remember a few years ago when I told myself I'd be happy just to finish writing a book, even if it didn't get published. Ummmm...allow me to roll on the ground in hysterics for a few minutes. I realize now that will never satisfy me. I won't be satisfied until I'm published. And even then, I probably won't be satisfied until I'm not only published, but making a living off of it. And even then...

7.   We never stop hoping.

No matter how much I lost on my last trip there, on the plane trip to Las Vegas I'm always feeling the same thing. I'm feeling lucky! Similar to the feeling of when we have a new, shiny manuscript and we hit send on that first query. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. This time, good things are going to happen. Right?

Right?

:)

HP Power

Saw the new trailer for HP7 the other night. Completely floored. This is going to be the best Harry Potter movie yet, as it should be. But as excited as I am, I'm also a little sad it's all going to come to an end, just as I was when the final book came out.

I imagine all HP fans share this sentiment, but I have a particular soft spot for HP. I was introduced to this amazing series at one of the lowest times in my life. It was the summer before my final year of college, and I was pretty sick (understatement). I had the misfortune of contracting Lyme disease, which probably doesn't mean much if you're not from Connecticut. I'll spare you the details but basically you feel so crappy that everything loses meaning. You don't have enough energy to email your friends and even watching TV is an effort. I couldn't walk or talk properly because my motor skills were all messed up. After I was released from the hospital I mainly laid in bed half-hoping that the next day I'd have enough energy to get out of it, and half-scared that even if I could get up, I still wouldn't be able to walk and it would all be pointless.

And then one night my sister came into my room carrying Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and pressed it into my hand. She thought I'd like it, she said. Now I hadn't been reading middle grade or YA at the time--I was an English Lit major in college so most of my time was spent reading the classics. I'd heard about Harry Potter--they'd already made the first couple of movies at this point--but it never occurred to me that the books would be something I'd like. But I guess there's something about being sick that takes us back to a childlike state, the need to feel like we're going to be taken care of an everything is going to be okay. So I gave it a try.

I didn't think I'd be able to get through more than a few pages at a time, but I did! I totally got sucked into the world of Hogwarts and for a little while forgot about the crap going on in my own world. And at a time when nothing seemed worth exerting the energy for, I managed to get through that first book in a matter of days.

I wasn't the only person going through a terrible time then. Every American and a bunch of people around the world were, too. Because I was so sick, I had to delay going back to school. And that meant I was still in bed that September in 2001, barely able to process what my father was telling me when he called from work that morning to tell us that a plane had hit the World Trade Center.

I write because I believe in the power of books, their ability to transport us when our own world is falling down around us. Whether it's a blockbuster series that brings together millions of fans, or a singular story that touches us on a personal level. I'll never replicate J.K. Rowling's success, and that's okay. All I hope is that one day I'll have a book out there, and some girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, or lost a tough basketball game, or was bullied at school, will pick it up and for a few hours she'll get sucked into the world I created and her day will be a little bit better for it.

So tell me, are you an HP fan? If not, is there a particular book out there that got you through a rough time?

Girls with Guns

Last week I posted a rant about my disappointment with one of CW11's new shows this season, Hellcats. I started to worry they'd never be able to duplicate the awesomeness that is Vampire Diaries. I was so disheartened that I let the first 2 episodes of Nikita languish, unwatched, on my DVR. Until this week--and now I'm completely hooked!

I have to say I'm impressed with the quality of the show--the acting is much better than I expected, there are some great action scenes, and they couldn't have picked a better actress to play Nikita. She's not some silly girl tripping around in high heels, she is a w-o-m-a-n with a mission and she kicks ass. I especially love the relationship between Nikita and her younger protege, because it reminds me of my main character in The Revengeful and her relationship with her sensei. Total tough love. Also, I never thought I'd take Shane West seriously (A Walk to Remember=gag me), but he's doing a pretty good job pulling it off.

The best part? My hubby is into it, too! Or he might just be into Nikita's super-hot tattoo. But whether you're interested in the premise, or in girls with guns, or tattoos, you should definitely give this new show a shot.

Once Upon a Time...

...there was a princess.

And she was lost.

As she wandered around the forest, weeks stretched into months, and months into years. And even though she kept trying, the princess began to doubt there was a way out of her wooded prison.

One day, when she was gathering roots for a stew, she came upon a part of the forest she didn't recognize. The trees were thicker here--they blocked out the light so that it no longer looked like daytime. But squinting just so, she could see a path ahead of her.

Putting down her basket, she drew the knife she used to cut the roots and pushed farther into the forest. It's just another path, she told herself. Just one of the hundreds of paths she'd followed before, only to find herself more lost than when she'd begun. But as sunlight began to creep through the branches around her, she allowed herself to hope. Maybe this is the one, the way out. Just as she thought this, the branches gave way completely, and she found herself in a clearing. In the middle of the clearing stood a single tree.  Tied to the tree was a man.

No, not just a man. A prince.

The princess wasted no time running to his aid. "Who did this to you?" she asked, as she took her blade to his bindings.

"Dragons," the prince said. "You have to leave--now! It isn't safe for you." But even as he said it, his eyes widened, and the princess knew it was too late. She whirled to face the creature, its snarl turning up the ends of its mouth. It was laughing at her.

Well, the joke was on it. Back in her kingdom, the princess was a Level 5 Dragon Slayer. As the giant lizard opened its mouth to deliver a fiery geyser, the princess chucked her knife at its soft underside, piercing its heart. The dragon fell over, life pouring out of it in an oily, black river.

"The beast is dead!" The prince said. "Come, we must get out of these woods before his brethren return."

"You know the way out?" For the first time that day, she felt faint.

In answer, the prince grabbed her by the hand and led her away from the clearing. They didn't stop running until they reached they edge of the forest, where the princess fell to her knees and wept at the sight of her kingdom in the distance.

...Long after the pair were married, the prince liked to retell the story of the time his wife slayed the dragon and saved him. And the princess would always smile to herself as she recalled her favorite part of the story, the part he never remembered. That he'd saved her, too.




Happy anniversary, babe. Love you.

TMI

I have to admit, I had hopes for the new CW11 series, Hellcats. I'm a fan of Vampire Diaries and I liked the idea that 'Cats features college-age characters rather than another high school drama. Unfortunately, the premiere episode came off as...well, desperate.

In the span of one episode, the following plot points were established:

• A poor girl backstory (Marti loses scholarship and needs to find a way to replace it)
• 3 romances
• A token non-romantic male friend character
• A rivalry
• An unexpected friendship
• An unhealthy parental relationship (alcoholic, soul-sucking mother)
• High stakes for the cheer squad (danger of the competitive program getting cut)
• A 180-degree shift in Marti's perception of cheerleading (goes from "edgy" pre-law student to belly-baring cheerleader)

It was too much, too fast. I felt like the guy in a relationship trying to fend off a Stage 5 Clinger. Slow things down, honey--we've been on two dates. Probably a little too soon to start talking about moving in together.

The problem with this approach, for me, is that it accomplishes the exact opposite of what was intended. Marti's story is shoved down our throats and we're automatically supposed to sympathize with her. Instead, I found myself thinking: Who gives a crap? I haven't known this character enough to care about her or feel invested. So I end up feeling resentful that the writers are trying so hard to make me like her, instead of just putting the characters out there and letting me develop my own opinions of them. It feels false, and it's a huge turnoff.

The creative advantage of TV shows is that they can take on a narrative format. Unlike movies, where a story arc must be completed within 2 hours, in a TV show you can really delve into character development and weave multiple storylines. When you do it right, you get a show like Mad Men. Episodes don't get wrapped in a tidy bow. The consequences of someone's actions in episode 3 may not surface until episode 8. Or even the following season.

TV shows are like books, in this respect. Agent Kristin Nelson did a post on openings that kill manuscripts, and I would like to add to add this one to it: Don't give it all up right away. The more desperate you are, the faster they'll run in the other direction.

False Start

I love the week following Labor Day, always have. It's always "back to school," even long after I've had to step foot in a classroom. Time to refocus, attack things with renewed energy. I think that burst of energy started as early as last night, because at 9pm I was scrubbing down our master bath, instead of parked on the couch.

And then...this morning I woke up with pinkeye. So much for starting off the new "school year" strong. Today I'm benched, at home starting antibiotics so I don't infect the entire office. But I guess if you have to be home sick, it beats a lot of other reasons. Guess I'll take advantage of the bonus writing time.

Hope you all had a great holiday weekend! Now get back to work :)

wtf

This morning I saw a toddler young enough to be in a stroller, listening to an iPod.

That is all.

The Dog Ate My Homework

I believe I've mentioned on this blog that I'm a bit of a procrastinator. This habit was ingrained quite thoroughly, when I learned at an early age that homework did not, in fact, have to be completed at home. That was what homeroom period was invented for. Or if I really wanted to cut it close to the wire, lunchtime.

Of course when you show up to Spanish class 6th period and your five sentences are something along the lines of Tengo hambre or Me gusta comida deliciosa, it shows. Especially when the kid next to you is translating lines from Tolstoy. (Possible exaggeration here.)


I should have put in more effort. But I didn't. Because I was making honor roll in my sleep. Because none of it really mattered--it was just high school. Except, I found out later, it did matter.

A decade older and wiser, I have become a firm believer that hard work counts just as much as talent. More so, actually. But old habits die hard, and sometimes I still find myself getting frustrated if things don't come easily. If I don't nail things on the first try.

Case in point: last week I had a creative review, which is basically where the team gets together and shares what they came up with during a brainstorm. I'm a copywriter, so for me that means taglines and the concepts behind them. For all of you who don't watch Mad Men and aren't versed in adspeak, let me provide an example of what this means: L'Oreal's "Because I'm Worth It" is a tagline. The concept behind this line is: Hey, we women work hard, dammit. Why not indulge our narcissistic selves every now and again? Because all the hard work is worth it when your hair looks fabulous (obvs).

So I show up (in my defense, this was my first creative review) with a paper of all my jumbled thoughts. Some completed taglines, some half-thoughts, some just random ideas that I thought were interesting. In the end I probably only had 2 solid lines. What does everyone else show up with? A neatly typed page of at least half a dozen taglines.

I was unprepared, and I looked unprofessional. I wrote down a bunch of ideas that I thought were cool without fully thinking them through or considering the audience they were directed at. In short, I stopped at Step 1.

So for Round 2, I buckled down. I picked my 2 strongest ideas and sweated it out over them (literally--I was laying in a lounge chair in 90-degree weather dripping sweat all over my paper). And guess what? I nailed it. Not the first time, but that's not what matters.

I think it's been about 2 years since I started getting serious about pursuing publication. And I've learned a lot. That rewriting is just as crucial as writing. That the first draft is just one tiny step in a long and involved process. That a great idea can only take you so far. And when I'm stressing about things not happening as quickly as I like or worrying that I'm progressing at a snail's pace, I just have to look back to my high school self, or to the first manuscript I completed, to see just how far I've come. And for the time being, that satisfies me.

What about you guys? Any personal goals/milestones you've achieved lately that keep you plugging away at it?

Summer Saturday

We're running low on them, considering Labor Day is just around the corner! I've been saving my copy of Mockingjay all week for today; and after a morning of errands and time on the treadmill, I'm looking forward to spending the afternoon in the sun, devouring the final book in this amazing trilogy.

Hope you all are enjoying the last bit of summer, too!

7 Reasons Why: Books vs Bikram

This week is shaping up to be a good one. The past week or 2 have been a little stressful, some personal stuff, some work stuff. But this week I'm back on track with The Revengeful, with Bloggy, and something else I've been neglecting--Bikram yoga.

I'm a huge proponent of Bikram, also known as "hot yoga." But it's been a while since I've practiced regularly. I finally got back in the studio this week, and was struck by some of the similarities between practicing Bikram and writing a book. So kids, it's time for another installment of 7 Reasons Why: If you're a writer, you might also enjoy Bikram yoga.


1. You dig the love/hate relationship

I can't say enough good things about Bikram. No other workout matches up to it. In 90 minutes you will detox, de-stress, and de-flab. A month of practicing it regularly and you're guaranteed to go up a few notches on the hot bod scale. Pretty much a no-brainer. So why don't I go more consistently? Well, because all of those benefits don't come without a degree of sacrifice. Just like writing. Which leads me to my next reason...


2. You're possibly a masochist

When it's a hundred degrees and you're in a posture designed to cut off the blood flow to your legs, you will likely ask yourself "What the hell did I get myself into?" This is a question you may also ask yourself as you sort through a hundred pages of manuscript, trying to figure out how Danny makes an appearance in chapter 14 when you already killed him off in the first 30 pages. Bikram is torture. Writing a book is torture. But you know you love it.


3. You don't believe in half-assing it

If you want to be successful at Bikram or writing, you have to push yourself, even when you really, really don't want to. Sure, I procrastinate. But when I'm in, I'm all in. There's no point in walking into the yoga studio or putting pen to paper if you're just going through the motions.


4. The smallest amount of progress makes you giddy

There's this one posture that I have particular difficulty with. Salabhasana, or Half Locust Pose. It's supposed to look like this:

But I look nothing like those two lovely ladies. I've always had a weak lower back, and it's a miracle if I can get my feet more than a couple inches off the ground. After my hiatus, I could barely get the tops of my feet from touching the mat. So as pathetic as a couple inches sound, I'll be doing cartwheels when I get back to that level of progress.

Kind of like when I sit at my computer for hours but only come up with 500 words that are worth using. But hey, that's 2 pages I didn't have the day before. Yippee!


5. Getting back on the horse scares the crap out of you

Wanna know why I went half a year without stepping into the yoga studio? Because I went a few weeks without stepping into the yoga studio. Once you lose momentum, it can be daunting, facing that idea of diving back in. And the more time that passes, the harder it gets.

The past 2 weeks I haven't been able to work on my WIP due to aforementioned personal and work stresses. I was terrified to open it back up, felt like it had been 2 years. But once I did, I was pleasantly surprised at what I found. And now I can get back into it with renewed energy.

Lesson: Setbacks are inevitable, but they are only as big as you let them be.

6. You are a master of procrastination

If you're a master of procrastination when it comes to opening the Word doc, you'll be an expert in coming up with excuses to avoid going to yoga.

There's a great quote from Mad Men in which Don Draper stands up for his creative team when a tight-wad exec complains about wasted hours/dollars. "Let them be unproductive until they are." You can't always force productivity, not if you want quality results. Just don't get stuck on the unproductive part. I think being a successful writer is being able to balance discipline without completely overriding the creative flow. Sometimes your brain has to work things out on its own before you can get it down on paper. At least this is what I like to tell myself whenever I feel guilty about SCUMPing.

7. You know you've got the goods.

Okay, so it rarely feels like this. Most of the time we're questioning our own sanity, wondering why we're pursuing this goal when 90% of the time we think we suck suck suck. But no matter how much you want to scream at the instructor Openthewindowareyoutryingtosuffocateusyoupsycho?? or how many times you have to hit the delete button only to rewrite the same scene 3 times over, you keep plugging away because, deep down, you know you have it in you. Otherwise you wouldn't keep trying.

Acronyms: Jersey Shore Edition

I'm just going to get this out of the way: I watch Jersey Shore. Not only do I watch it, but I'm mildly addicted to it. Although not as much as Hubby is. His love for JS is rather inexplicable given his usual distaste for reality show television, although I can hazard a guess why he might be so interested. Actually, make that 2 guesses:

True, JWOWW's girls may defy gravity, but one of my favorite parts of the show is the creative use of acronyms. In case you haven't noticed on this blog, I'm a fan of acronyms, the sillier the better. There was a point in my life where email chains between my best friend and I read like some kind of UNIX code. And Jersey Shore is like an acronym buffet. From the IFF (I'm F&%$ Foundation) to MVP (Mike, Vinnie & Pauly), and of course the quintessential GTL. For those of you non-JS watchers, this stands for Gym, Tanning & Laundry: and apparently it's standard protocol that any self-proclaimed Guido must adhere to before heading out for a night of fist-pumping.

It made me think about those routines we writers have, the processes we go through before we finally get our butt in the chair and actually write. Shameful confession #2 of this blog post: I am the Queen of Procrastination, and there's a few things I simply must do before I feel ready to face that ever-looming Word document. So I thought I'd come up with an acronym for it, Jersey Shore-style.

SCUMP.

Snack: It doesn't matter if I had a 5-course meal 30 minutes ago. Once I sit down at the computer, all I can think about is how long I have to wait before breaking out the popcorn.

Clean: I hate cleaning. HATE it. Yet when the time to write rolls around, I suddenly turn into Mary Poppins.

Unpaid bills: I like to pay them online while fantasizing about a 6-figure advance and the day our electric bill won't scare the crap out of me.

Mail: Without fail there will be a week's worth of mail taunting me on the counter, and somehow I'll get sucked into catching up on issues of OK magazine that mysteriously started appearing in my mailbox 2 months ago. I don't even like OK magazine. The stories are so far-fetched I can't even bring myself to buy into the rumors. Yet I feel compelled to page through them before tossing them into the recycle bin.

Playing with my dog: Okay this is legitimate, I swear. She requires lots of attention. She's actually jealous of the laptop. I'm surprised she hasn't tried to pee on it yet.

So yeah, it's a wonder that between the Day Job, this blog, and all my SCUMPing I get any writing done. Speaking of, I guess I'll go get cracking on that. After I cook dinner...

Why, Hello There

Just popping in to say, no, unfortunately I am not somewhere tropical and exotic sunning myself this week. It seems that, although the publishing industry sleeps during August, the advertising industry does not. So I've been busy with the Day Job and poor bloggy has been suffering. But don't fret, I will return this weekend with the usual nonsense. Now get out and enjoy the weather! Don't forget the SPF.

The Mom Test

Are all my fellow writers taking advantage of WriteOnCon? I'm trying to catch up during snippets of downtime here at the office, but they are few and far between.

Did any of you see the post on giving yourself permission by Molly O'Neill, an associate editor with Katherine Tegan Books? Many of the "permissions" resonated with me, but one in particular made me giggle a little:

Permission to write a scene or story that might make certain people who love you shocked and surprised.

I don't believe in squeaky-clean writing as an absolute, but I also don't write anything for shock factor. If a curse word or a reference to sex is appropriate, it goes in. So far my YA projects have hovered in the PG-13 category.

However, a few months back I was working on gothic horror for adults. Man, I loved that piece. It was dark and it was twisted. A depraved, soul-sucking (literally) woman and an obsessed man. A few deaths, and a few....ehrm...intimate scenes.

And then I was chit chatting on the phone with my mom. She asked how the writing was going, I shared a few vague details of my current projects at the time, to which she followed up with something along the lines of "well, I can't wait to read it." Cringe.

Well, that did it. The thought of my poor mother reading that piece and wondering when and how her daughter's mind became so warped was enough to make me shelve the project and go back to focusing on my YA.

That manuscript still tugs at me once and a while, though. And if I'm being honest with myself, it contains some of the best prose I've written to date. Someday, I expect, I'll dust it off and finish it. Maybe when I'm not such a noob writer and can actually do the story justice. Maybe just for myself. Or maybe I'll actually put it out there for the world--and my mother--to see. Maybe I'll give myself permission. :)

Absolut-ly Refreshing

Love this new ad for Absolut Lemon Drop.

Ali Larter's never looked so good. It almost makes me forget she is the whipped cream bikini girl from Varsity Blues.

Almost, but not quite.